I believe that Bob Roberts of NorthWood Church in Keller, Tx captures the heart of leadership development in the following seven disciplines or practices he wrote about recently. As I think about building spiritual movements everywhere, it seems that leaders who practice these seven things will produce multiplying leaders. And without multiplying leaders, we’ll see no movements launched or built. Thanks Bob.
First, you live the life and do the stuff you talk about. Bobb Biehl has taught me that credibility is gained by 3 threads, results-time-character. Results are simply what is seen. People generally listen not because of what you know or what you did, but because of what you are currently doing. Character is what you are.
Second, you teach first from what you’ve experienced. Anyone can write or talk on a subject and, yet, not be a “doer.” Those who “do” and those who “talk” at first sound similar, but the deeper you go, the more you learn the differences and what may sound like semantics becomes key. Also, those who “experience” it will generally read more and more because they want to understand more. . . Mentoring is life-on-life and the more healthy experiences a mentor has, the more he/she has to share.
Third, they have to be around you in your context. I used to not understand that–and it’s something I have to keep learning again and again. Whether we are in church, or overseas, or involved in a project or ministry, together is crucial. People who are busy doing don’t always have a manual or journal near them while they are working to write down everything-and if they did–they wouldn’t stop and write it. They’re caught up in what they are doing and living it and it is their passion. . . I think the apostles followed Jesus because they wanted to watch Him.
Fourth, you have to hold people accountable. Good mentoring doesn’t start by hugging, but by listening, observing, and then challenging. We generally hug too quickly and challenge too late. We should first challenge and then hug when they do it or at least attempt to do it even if they fail and want to try again. The question is what are you trying to produce and what does the person need? Often, we let our own emotional vacuums color relationships with people we are trying to mentor. I’m not afraid to say to a young guy, “Hey man, you gotta work on this” or “That ain’t gonna cut it” or “Why do you think you’re like that?” or “Wow, that’s incredible!” To do that, you have to critique yourself with your mentors and others.
Fifth, you give them bite-size things and watch them. Don’t give them the whole load–just a part. See what they do with it. It’s the parable of the talents–you’re going to find out who invests and who hoards. I think one of the reasons why I wind up being asked to mentor or meet with a lot of guys is because they’ve seen consistency and growth in specific areas that continue to open more and more doors. That happens when you are faithful with the 2 talents you’ve been given, not wishing you were a 10-talent guy. The point is not how many talents you have, but how you invest them.
Sixth, watch what’s unique about them and help them discover their own uniqueness. Bob Buford has helped me with this. He’s challenged me on more than one occasion, “Roberts you have to know what is unique about yourself and focus on that. What is it you can do that no one else can.” Sometimes that’s really hard because you may feel you should do one thing when you can see it ain’t gonna work! There are at least 3 interns that I’ve visited with on various issues that as I got to know them I could see something was going to bite them or that their giftedness was somewhere else. I didn’t tell them out loud, but asked questions and planted seeds for them to self-discover things. What I discover I value more than what someone else discovers and gives me! A good mentor blurts it out as only a last resort.
Seventh–this could be a book–I think you have to let them see you for who you really are–your good and bad. Admit your faults. They already know them and can see them. They aren’t asking you for help because they think you’re perfect. When you’re honest about your weaknesses, it will frankly increase your credibility with them. You bet–let them see you work. But, let them see you laugh, weep, sweat, everything you are. . . I trust real people–people whose smile or affirmations aren’t mixed with agendas or profit from a relationship.
See Bob’s site on churchplanting at Glocalnet.