In his book Off-Road Disciplines: Spiritual Adventures of Missional Leaders, Eric Creps argues for the discipline of reverse mentoring.
When you think of the word mentoring, what comes to mind? Normally, the word raises up scenes for example from The Karate Kid—Mr. Miyagi telling his novice Daniel to repeat this motion as he paints Miyagi’s house. By obeying, the novice learns martial arts. The older mentoring the younger; the wiser teaching the fool. Creps suggests that we may have missed an important discipline in our leadership development by holding to this “older and wiser over the younger and the foolish” paradigm. That discipline is reverse mentoring.
Anyway, whenever we tap into the wisdom of the young, we develop important reverse mentoring relationships. R-mentoring is a specific form of friendship in which the junior instructs the senior. It is not meant as a replacement for other forms of mentoring but as an essential complement to them.
Reverse mentoring (R-mentoring) may be illustrated in part by an imaginary conversation I’ve played with in my mind. The conversation is between Jesus the Carpenter and Peter the Fisherman. In this conversation, Jesus turns to Peter and says: “”If you’ll teach me to sail, I’ll teach you to nail.” I’m not sure why I find that so clever, but I do—maybe because it illustrates a wider understanding of discipleship and leadership development. Or maybe just because it rhymes.
While it’s obvious that all of us need at times to learn from the young, leaders are hesitant to enter such relationships for several reasons. Sadly, Creps argues, many leaders tell themselves that they need to appear knowledgeable and powerful–even when they are not. Such leaders lust for the center in every relationship. But if they would check their attitude at the door and develop a soft heart, the leader will find wonderful allies in the young who will make them even better leaders.
To develop such a heart, Creps suggest that leaders learn to:
1. Ask questions, and then ask some more questions. A natural curiosity provides an enormous asset in any relationship–particularly between older and younger.
2. Take notes. By visibly taking notes, you demonstrate to the younger person that you value what they are saying. It displays a seriousness that engenders a growing relationship.
3. Find multiple younger mentors–depending on the subject at hand. Seek for mentors in technology, in music, in art and culture, etc.
Leave a Reply